Online dating safety and your identity

Dating apps ask you to show a stranger enough of yourself to spark interest, and the same details that make a profile appealing can help someone find out much more than you meant to share. Most matches are just people hoping for a good date. A small number are scammers, and a smaller number are dangerous. The habits below cost very little and protect you from both.

Build a profile that doesn't lead home

Start with your photos. Avoid pictures that show your house number, your street, your car's license plate, your workplace sign or your children. Do not use photos that also appear on your public social accounts; a reverse image search on a profile photo can lead straight to your full name.

Then look at the text. A first name, a rough area and your general line of work give people plenty to talk about. "I work in hospital administration" is fine. "I'm the scheduling lead at St. Mary's on Fourth Street" is more than a stranger needs.

Some apps let you link your music or photo accounts. Before you do, check what those accounts show publicly, including your full name and username.

Keep the conversation on the app at first

Dating apps have reporting tools, blocking, and teams that look for fraud. Leaving the app early means giving up those protections and handing over your phone number, which can be searched to find your name and address.

If you want to move to another channel before meeting, consider a separate number from a calling app rather than your personal one, or keep talking inside the app until you have met.

Check that your match is real

Before meeting, it is reasonable to confirm a person is who they say they are:

• Run a reverse image search on one or two of their photos. If the pictures belong to a model, an influencer or someone with a different name, stop.
• Suggest a short video call. A real match may be shy about it but will usually agree. Repeated excuses are a warning sign.
• If they have told you their full name, a quick search should broadly match what they have said about their job and city.
• Use the app's verification badge if it has one, but treat it as one signal among several.

Do this to confirm identity, not to collect information about someone's past.

Recognize romance scams

Romance scams are among the costliest types of fraud reported to the Federal Trade Commission. They tend to follow a script, and knowing it helps you spot one early:

1. The match is unusually attentive and moves quickly to strong feelings.
2. They ask to continue on a private messaging app.
3. They live or work far away, often abroad, on an oil rig, in the military or with an aid organization, so meeting keeps getting postponed.
4. A crisis appears: a medical bill, a customs fee, a frozen bank account. Or an opportunity: a crypto investment they want to "teach" you.
5. They ask for money, gift cards, crypto or help moving funds.

Any request for money from someone you have not met in person is a scam signal, no matter how real the relationship feels. So is a request to receive and forward money, which can make you part of a money-laundering chain. Report the profile to the app, stop responding, and report the attempt to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or to your country's fraud reporting service.

Sextortion and private images

A growing scam involves persuading someone to share intimate photos or video, then threatening to send them to friends, family or an employer unless they pay. If this happens, stop replying, do not pay, keep screenshots of the messages and the account, and report it to the platform and to the police. Paying rarely ends the demands.

For adults, the StopNCII service lets you create digital fingerprints of intimate images so that participating platforms can block them from being shared, without the image itself leaving your device. If the person in the images was under 18 when they were taken, the NCMEC "Take It Down" service is designed for that situation.

Plan the first meeting

• Meet in a busy public place and arrange your own transport there and back.
• Tell a friend who you are meeting, where and when. Share your location with them for the evening if you like.
• Keep the first meeting short. Coffee or a walk in a public park are easier to leave than dinner.
• Stay in control of your drink and your belongings.
• Have a polite exit line ready. Leaving early is always acceptable.

After the date

If you decide not to see someone again, you do not owe them more personal details. Unmatch on the app and block them on any other channel you shared. If someone becomes threatening or turns up uninvited, keep a record of every contact, report the account, and contact the police.

If you share a profile or photos with someone and later regret it, check whether those photos appear elsewhere using a reverse image search, and work through our digital footprint audit to make sure your personal accounts do not reveal more than you want.

A short checklist

Before you start chatting: photos that do not identify your home or work, a profile that does not appear in your public social accounts, and a plan for how you will share contact details. Before you meet: a video call, a reverse image search, a public place and a friend who knows where you are.

Common questions