Which online communities are you in?

I pretty much only use Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.

Do you identify as your “offline self” in these places? I mean, use your real name, for example?

I do on Facebook. On Instagram I changed my name to something else because I was teaching at highschool and needed to remain anonymous without making my account private.

Was that a requirement, or just something you chose to do?

A bit of both. I did it myself when kids were asking me if I had Snapchat or Instagram. I told them I didn’t have either but just changed my name. And then I found out later on that if you interact with students online you can get fired and have your teaching registration taken away.

I think in Queensland you can be fired for having anyone under 18 on a social network – so not even siblings on Facebook!

Ok so, with these three social media platforms, do you use them for specific purposes? Do you interact much with others?

Facebook is mostly for keeping up with friends and family. Instagram is a little self indulgent, I guess. I just take photos/videos of whatever, not for any purpose in particular. I mostly share because I thought whatever it was was cool.

And Pinterest, I scour for images for my own crazy scrapbooking fetish (I’ve scrapbooked forever). I would only comment on something a friend pinned.

Pinterest is an interesting extension of something very traditional, isn’t it. I mean, scrapbooking has been around for so long.

Yeah it is. And while I feel like an 80-year-old for having scrapbooks, it’s kind of normal to have Pinterest and they essentially do the same thing.

I’m curious about how you present yourself in Instagram, since people don’t necessarily know who you are there. Do you think about how you may look to others? What others may think of your images?

I do. Especially when I post a selfie – I think some people might be like “you are too old for that!”

The “selfie” seems such a controversial form of expression these days…

My auntie once actually said that it was the most vain thing ever. And so I sometimes second guess myself when I go to post one. But as I said to her – I like to do my makeup, it’s creative for me and almost like art – so if I’ve done a good job I feel like taking a photo and putting it up!

Your aunt follows you on Instagram?

No. She doesn’t have any social media. She just hates everything. I think it came up because my dad loves a selfie. And he agreed – it’s an art!

How long does it take you to perfect your selfies? Do you put a lot of care into choosing filters and so on?

I don’t spend that much time on them. Sometimes I’ll take a bunch of photos and be like “nah!” and other times I’ll put a few minutes into taking it and some time into the filters. Not a crazy amount of time.

But I do want to look good! Which is a weird thing. And I guess I want to share/project the good parts of life…pretty stuff (not me, but things, flowers, buildings) or fun things I do, or interesting things.

Also with some humour – I don’t take any of it seriously.

Are there things you share online which you wouldn’t share in person with people? 

I probably wouldn’t walk around and say “watch this video of Kendrick Lamar that I took last night” but I will just leave it on Instagram/Facebook and if someone wants to view it they can.

It’s less forceful in a way. And I know people call it “baby spam”, but I put photos of my son Archi up online because I know some friends and all of my family appreciate it and want to see it. If someone doesn’t want to look they can scroll on.

I think it’s crazy Mums often feel guilty for sharing what is their whole world! Like, what else are we doing? We hang out and take photos of these amazing little creatures all day! How is that less valid than sharing an answer you got to a quiz on Buzzfeed?

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I often wonder what exactly people want to see on Facebook. People complain about baby photos, photos of relationships, political views – like we can’t share the important things.

Selfies and baby spam are two things you’ve mentioned which make you think twice about whether you should post… because there’s a lot of opinion about how people present themselves. and I wonder if there’s a pressure on our online selves as much as offline. or more. or less. what do you think?

Haha I am just doing what everyone criticizes, aren’t I?

Probably more.. Offline, I am also conscious not to talk too much about being a mum, I feel like people get bored. But most of the time people ask. But online I’ll actually see articles about oversharing baby stuff, and memes about baby spam – so there is pressure to hold back. Ultimately I made the decision to just go for it (otherwise I would receive texts every day asking for photos of him).

And the selfies – no one in person says anything about too much makeup or anything negative about my clothes, but for some reason, a selfie seems to invite that criticism. Once again, ignored that and just ultimately do what I want!

I often wonder what exactly people want to see on Facebook. People complain about baby photos, photos of relationships, political views – like we can’t share the important things.

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People can strongly believe in something, but don’t want anyone to strongly believe in the opposing view – and definitely don’t want you to announce that you do.

Political views can cause some interesting discussion on a Facebook wall.

Yes! I’m pretty sure my mum’s cousin has deleted and blocked me because I have shared pro-vax stuff. She obviously can’t be friends with anyone who has an opposing view to hers. People can strongly believe in something, but don’t want anyone to strongly believe in the opposing view – and definitely don’t want you to announce that you do.

Do you voice your views often online?

Not daily, but if it comes up. I’ll share an article or I will tell someone that I disagree with what they have said/shared.

I pick my battles sometimes. I weigh up whether it’s worth it.

Do you think you’d have conversations like these ones face-to-face?

Yes. Maybe even more likely to not let it pass if it’s face-to-face.

It sounds like standing up for your beliefs is a fairly big part of both online and offline identity for you…

I think it is.

Have you ever been attacked for your views? 

I haven’t felt attacked. Maybe the other person has haha. One day one of my uncles said he wouldn’t vaccinate his children if he had his time again and I went nuts at him. That was in person.

I often don’t start things, I chime in. Even silly things online, like one of my husband’s friends commented on something he posted about Kanye West, saying he should just go and kill himself. I’ll say something then – that I like Kanye, that just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they should suicide! I’m not attacked but I’ll defend or “enlighten”. It’s what I think I’m doing – they probably just think I’m annoying.

I did have an argument about feminism online one day and I did bite my tongue a fair bit on that. The girl I went to school with was totally ignorant and I had to try and not say that to her, while trying to “enlighten” her about what feminism really is.

Did she accept what you had to say?

No, so she shared something…I told her that she was missing the point. She said “I’m not being a bitch but, you are a hypocrite.” I wanted to respond with, “you’re not a bitch, we’re having a conversation, you are just ignorant”, instead I re-explained what I was saying and elaborated. She never responded…

Would you openly call yourself a feminist online?

Yes.

I’d just like to jump backwards to selfies before we wrap this up, because I’m very interested the fact that you post selfies a lot. Did you go to the Ai Weiwei exhibit?

I haven’t yet! I think maybe next week.

You should. He’s a fan of selfies too.

Haha is he? That could convince dad to come with me!

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I don’t really know why I think it’s a bit of a tall poppy type thing but we don’t want to encourage people to be vain or up themselves – and a selfie embodies that.

I wonder about the selfie as a way of sharing identity with others… what you said got me thinking about the fact that … can I call it “styling yourself”? is a creative outlet for you.

Maybe. Because I have always loved doing my make up. I love it! And so, to me, it’s kind of like sharing a picture you drew or a cake you made. Why are those things acceptable to share? Why are those art that can be shared without coming off as vain?

What is it about selfies do you think that inspires such backlash?

I asked my aunt that and she had no answer.

I don’t really know why I think it’s a bit of a tall poppy type thing (I’m not sure that’s exactly the right term) but we don’t want to encourage people to be vain or up themselves – and a selfie embodies that? So we hate them? Because if I’m posting a selfie am I saying “look how great I am”?

Maybe it’s a Kardashian thing to do? Those girls take lots of selfies and people don’t like them, think of them as “attention whores” so that’s how we class all girls who take selfies?

As a feminist, I think that if I want to take a selfie I should be able to. I’m not trying to look hot or entice men or say that I’m better than other women. I’m just saying “this is me today”.

The selfie with Archi, is an example of fun with my baby – it could be baby spam but I took it because he loves photos (there’s a whole other kettle of fish there) and I thought he was being super cute. We took 10 pics, then I picked the best one (he’s usually blurry because he moves at double speed). And then I added some filters to make it even brighter.

The other one is maybe where my more critical side comes in – I took several, went through them and decided to cut off the top of my head because I didn’t like the way my nose and eyes looked. And I cinched my waist in because I have been feeling really skinny and flat since I got sick with Graves’ Disease – and I kinda wanted to look curvy again. Even if it is just in a photo.

And I love the colour of the Chanel lipstick and nail polish, so I wanted a black and red photo with that amazing colour.

I was immediately transported back to the 40s or 50s when I saw it.

Which is an aesthetic I love.